Posts Tagged ‘New Year’s resolutions’

Guest Blog – ofBooks on Books Before 30

January 8, 2014

I have long been a fan of Alice’s blog ofBooks, and have been particularly intrigued by her idea of making a list of books she must read before she reaches thirty. Perhaps this has been close to my heart, as I turned thirty at the end of last year… So, in the spirit of New Year’s Resolutions, I thought you might like to hear a little about her project, and perhaps find the inspiration to make your own list of books to read before thirty, forty, or even by the end of 2014.

Alice – my recommendation for your list, other than Moon Tiger, which I’m thrilled you read last year, is something by Penelope Fitzgerald. It’s so tough to choose a favourite, but perhaps I’ll settle on The Beginning of Spring. I think she’s a genius, easily one of the best writers of the last century, and I hope you find her work as funny, unnerving, perfectly observed and inspiring as I do.

Over to Alice…


When Emily got in touch and asked if I would like to write something about my endeavour Books Before 30 – a list of books I’ve made to read before I reach the end of my twenties – my initial feeling was excitement, and then as I came down from the ceiling, I thought, ‘how far have I got with that?’ My progress isn’t exactly extensive.

Reading has become such a feature in my life, a second education. Books Before 30 was designed to be my way of delving into the fiction and non-fiction to which I was failing to expose myself.

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by CS LewisI never used to be a great reader. As a child my father read me fiction, approved by my mother: C.S. Lewis, Enid Blyton, Roald Dahl. I was the earnest listener, absorbing tales that would provide my sisters and me with inspiration for the playtime adventures that kept us occupied through afternoons and weekends. At school, I was a shy child, and it was assumed my reading was underdeveloped. It meant I spent a lot of time reading about Peter and Jane. If there is anything to kill a love of literature it is Peter and Jane.

By and by, as I became too old for bedtime tales and graduated to my own bedroom, reading fell off the list of childhood pursuits. There were video games, music and the internet to discover, and I was breaking out of the shell of my Christian upbringing. Reading just didn’t feel so important.

Frankenstein by Mary ShelleyNow, I often wish I had studied English Literature for A-Level, but in the typical style of someone who is suddenly allowed to be different without judgement, I chose almost all my subjects based on what was (almost) never available to me at school; History, Philosophy and Film Studies. Literature didn’t reappear in my life until University, when I chose to veer in the direction of fiction and history during my degree in Cultural and Historical Studies. This reintroduced me to the Classics; Frankenstein, Dracula, Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, She, and Heart of Darkness. It also threw at me the wonders of modern fiction; books by Chinua Achebe, Seamus Dean and Deirdre Madden. You would think that would be the push I needed, but in actual fact it took a love of blogging and a GoodReads challenge to really ignite a passion for reading.

During my first year of blogging in 2012, I began to realise how much literature I had missed, especially the classics. I’d managed to arrive at a few on my own via University, BBC adaptations, and a push in the right direction from my sister, but I felt left behind. So I set myself a goal: I asked people to suggest books that I should read before I turned 30, which at the time was just over four years away. I also added some ideas of my own. They don’t have to be classics or challenging books – I’ve got Twilight on there – they just need to be books I feel I ought to have read in order to learn, expand my vocabulary, or just to have a better grounding for moaning about them!

If I hadn’t had this particular journey with reading, I would probably never have created Books Before 30. The idea isn’t my own; Simon, of Savidge Reads – a fabulous book blogger – is the creator of sorts. Back in 2012 he started discussing 40 Before 40 – where he’d list and read a selection of books he felt he should read before he reaches the end of his 30s. (Earlier this year he listed them all.) Essentially I’ve stolen Simon’s idea, modified it and am hoping that he doesn’t mind!

Since beginning this challenge I have worked my way through books I never thought I would love, such as Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, whose protagonist’s anxiety vibrated so intensely that I could feel it. And some I never thought I would dislike, such as Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, which I read craving the maturity of Anne from Persuasion.

Wuthering Heights by Emily BronteWithout Books Before 30 I wouldn’t have felt a plethora of emotions or seen the world in different lights. I would never have read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë and decided that I preferred Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë that bit more:

I’ve no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven; and if the wicked man in there had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn’t have thought of it. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he’s handsome, Nelly, but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton’s is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire.

The Wasp FactoryI wouldn’t have discovered Iain Banks’ The Wasp Factory:

Often I’ve thought of myself as a state; a country or, at the very least, a city. It used to seem to me that the different ways I felt sometimes about ideas, courses of action and so on were like the differing political moods that countries go through. It has always seemed to me that people vote in a new government not because they actually agree with their politics but just because they want a change. Somehow they think that things will be better under the new lot. Well, people are stupid, but it all seems to have more to do with mood, caprice and atmosphere than carefully thought-out arguments. I can feel the same sort of thing going on in my head. Sometimes the thoughts and feelings I had didn’t really agree with each other, so I decided I must be lots of different people inside my brain.

 I would have never been able to compare Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell to current politics:

He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.

Parade's End by Ford Madox FordI would never have read Hemingway, or Parade’s End by Ford Madox Ford, the best piece of fiction I have ever encountered. Not all of these were on my Books Before 30 list, but without that list, without the push to change my reading habits and to discover new works I never would have reached for them.

I’ve got two more years until I hit 30 when this challenge will end. If you have any books you could recommend for me, I would be incredibly grateful! Or perhaps you’d like to join me in my challenge, in which case I’d love to know how you get on.

The Examined Life

January 6, 2014

Happy New Year!

I hope you had a restorative break and are ready to throw yourselves into 2014 with gusto. I would love to know your New Year’s resolutions, especially if they are reading-based. Stuck for inspiration? Then here are some suggestions that I wrote for The Spectator a while ago.

This year, my rather unliterary resolution is to be able to do a press up. Yes, just one single press up. I know it seems unbelievable that anyone could be quite so feeble not to manage even one, but I have pathetically weak arms – probably thanks to a childhood spent reading rather than playing lacrosse – so I have at last resolved to take action to be strong. (No doubt, key to developing my upper-body strength is to read more heavy books and never to own such a spindly-arm-encouraging gadget as a Kindle.)

New Year can be a difficult time. Christmas is over and real life returns, only now we’re broke, fat and cripplingly used to lie-ins. As my bookselling friend and colleague said to me, when we were trying to pin down what exactly was so grim about January, ‘There’s something about it being a new year and yet nothing’s new.’

This is of course why many of us are so keen to try to change, to introduce something new to our lives. I am always thrilled by how many people turn to books for this element of newness, which makes for a curiously uplifting time in the bookshop. I had always anticipated January to be deathly and depressingly quiet after the frantic present-buying busyness of Christmas, especially given that we don’t have a sale. And yet the bookshop is thoughtfully, browsingly busy at the moment, as though people have decided that one way to make 2014 a good year is to begin it by reading some good books. A wise resolution indeed.

The Examined Life by Stephen GroszI dipped into The Examined Life by Stephen Grosz over Christmas, savouring a chapter here and there between rounds of charades or mince pies, but have really read it in earnest over the past few days. I would go so far as to say this is a life-changing book and I urge you to read it now, for when better to read such a thing? Added to which, it has just come out in paperback, although I put up with 2013’s hardback, prematurely wrinkled from when the husband dropped it in the bath.

Stephen Grosz is a psychoanalyst, and The Examined Life is a collection of his case studies. Many of the chapters began life as his column in the Financial Times, which gives them a winning incisive brevity. All names have been changed, all jargon eradicated, and the book reads more like a collection of short stories than a textbook. It is a clutch of diamonds – beautiful, elemental, gleaming with multi-faceted light, and sharp as hell.

Psychological issues tend to feel like overwhelming, ongoing problems, things that threaten to affect someone for their entire life. Grosz, however, distils a patient’s course of analysis, which often goes on for over a year, into just a few pages.

He describes the manifestation of the issue, delves in to discover its root, draws an illuminating parallel or two, and then, in his explanation of a patient’s behaviour, so comes the resolution. Unwieldy psychological problems are given beginnings, middles and ends – a narrative structure which makes for satisfying, illuminating reading.

There are many brilliant examples to choose from, but here’s one that I found particularly intriguing:

Amanda P., a twenty-eight-year-old single woman, returns home to London after a work trip to America. She has been in New York for ten days. She lives alone. She sets her briefcase down on her doorstep, and, as she turns her key in the lock, an idea takes hold. ‘I had this fantasy – I saw it like a film: turning the key triggers some sort of detonator and the whole flat blows up, the door exploding off its hinges towards me, killing me instantly. I was imagining that terrorists had been in my flat and had carefully primed a bomb to kill me. Why would I have such a crazy fantasy?’

Why indeed?! Having outlined the issue – a ‘crazy fantasy’ of paranoia – Grosz gives a few other examples and tells us that:

Most, if not all, of us have had irrational fantasies at one time or another … and yet we rarely acknowledge them … we find them difficult, even impossible to talk about.

What is at the root of our paranoia? First, key to his explanation is the fact that:

We are more likely to become paranoid if we are insecure, disconnected, alone.

Grosz explains:

Paranoid fantasies are disturbing, but they are a defence. They protect us from a more disastrous emotional state – namely, the feeling that no one is concerned about us, that no one cares.

Then follows a fascinating digression about soldiers suffering from paranoia during the First World War. Apparently British soldiers in the trenches were convinced that French and Belgian farmers were signalling to the German artillery. They saw codes in the way they ploughed the fields, or hung up their washing. Unsurprisingly, paranoia is also rife amongst the elderly:

All too frequently – like the soldiers in the trenches – the elderly face death feeling forgotten … Paranoid fantasies are often a response to the world’s disregard. The paranoid knows that someone is thinking about him.

And so, of course it makes perfect sense that when Amanda P. returned home to an empty flat, she had a paranoid fantasy:

The fantasy frightened her, but ultimately this fear saved her from feeling alone.

The case of Amanda P. is a satisfying thing to read. A curious incident, to which we can relate, followed by some interesting digressions, penetrating insight and then tidy resolution. A beginning situation, then middle development, and end resolution.

This near-short-story form points to something more profound than just a satisfying frame for reading. Grosz is emphasising the narrative similarities between real life and storytelling. At the beginning of the book, he quotes Karen Blixen:

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.

This rings true to any reader or writer. For surely one of the main reasons why novels are so wonderful to read is because this creative sharing of a sorrow creates empathy which connects a reader both to the writer and to other readers.

Throughout The Examined Life, Grosz calls on stories from literature to illustrate his point. A Christmas Carol is used particularly well to show how a glimpse of your future self can haunt you enough to inspire change. What I loved most about Grosz’s case studies is that they are written not just by a psychoanalyst, but by a reader of fiction. So many adults – especially men – tell me that they have stopped reading fiction because there is so much interesting and important non-fiction to read instead. But what can be more vital than the emotional truths at the heart of a novel? I was struck by Julian Barnes’ brilliant conclusion to his article on the late great Penelope Fitzgerald in this weekend’s Guardian Review:

Writers, over the long run, are judged by the truths they detect about the human condition, and the artistry with which they represent those truths.

I couldn’t agree more. And I suspect Stephen Grosz feels the same. (Indeed I happen to know that Grosz is a fan of Penelope Fitzgerald, as he was in the bookshop when I was setting out to discuss The Blue Flower for Emily’s Walking Book Club, and said it was a great book, although alas he and his beautiful enormous dog didn’t join us.)

I would add to Julian Barnes’s insightful comment, that readers as well as writers are judged by the truths they detect about the human condition in the books they read. If someone has given up on reading fiction, then it suggests to me that he hasn’t read it well. He has paid it too little attention, or lacked the perspicacity to engage with what the writer is saying through the story.

Grosz is a very astute reader. Indeed he is so astute that he can find the truths about the human condition at the heart of a story, even when the writer struggles to tell it. Grosz responds to Blixen with the questions:

But what if a person can’t tell a story about his sorrows? What if his story tells him?

Psychoanalysis is a means of helping people to tell their stories. By enabling someone to put his sorrow into words, the patient can understand the truth about his particular human condition. Moreover, the patient can shape the narrative of his life, rather than be shaped by the sorrow from which he suffers. These case studies read like short stories because they are short stories – creative understandings of the human condition.

Read it. Read it now!